THE SHORT, SWEET VERSION:

My family and I took a trip to Disney World several years ago. Walking through Epcot on one sunny afternoon, I thought, wouldn’t it be great if my family and I could have access to enter any of the Disney parks for free anytime we wanted? I’d have to have something that they’d want to purchase the rights to---something that could be an attraction, or another section of a theme park. And then it hit me—clowns! No one had done a comic strip about clowns, and I had been searching for a comic strip premise. The decision to do a strip about clowns, then, was purely to make for cheaper vacations!

I liked this idea for several reasons (the clown concept, not the vacation part). Clowns are inherently funny and/or silly. I could presumably be forgiven the occasional less-than-funny cartoon if the people in it looked goofy. The unspoken implication that we’re all clowns stumbling through life amused me. And, of course, portraying any politicians in my cartoons as clowns seemed only natural! (At one point, I thought I should just set it in DC.)

I decided to approach it as more of an adult or all-ages cartoon, rather than a cutesy “family” strip. The basic premise was that almost everyone in the strip would be a clown, and then I’d do cartoons that could just as easily feature regular people. (It may help, by the way, the next time your boss or a business associate is giving you a hard time, if you picture him or her with a big red nose and an oversized butt squeezed into polka-dot pants.)

Of course, the idea of a Disney World theme park doesn’t really seem all that realistic. But at least I got the idea I needed out of it. Makes the cost of the trip seem pretty cheap!

And why “Qlown” with a Q? Because I could trademark it! And the more I think about it, the more I like it. What could be more “clown” than to misspell “Clown”?

THE LONG-WINDED VERSION, FOR STALKERS AND TRIVIA BUFFS ONLY:

IT IS ONLY IN RETROSPECT that I realize that clowns had had a place in my head for a long time. The reason to do a strip based on clowns seemed to come, at the time I conceived it, from a completely new place.

As a kid, I dressed up as the butt end of an elephant for a Cub Scout circus, and did the makeup for my friend Kenny, who played the clown that fed me/us peanuts. (I don’t remember why I was chosen to be the butt end, but I hope it was because my mother was sewing the costume and told me to be polite.) I dressed up as a clown for Halloween once or twice. When I went to the Ringling Bros. circus as a child, the clowns were my favorite. I even toyed with going to Clown School once during college. (Some people who attended college with me may say that, basically, I did.)

I wrote a play, Dodo, about the Dodo the Clown Show, a children’s program that was taken over by terrorists. It was produced in college, and I still remember the excitement of sitting in a theater full of people, all there to see a play that I created. It was set in the studio where the TV show was done live, so there were monitors around the theater, showing what was, one presumed, the show that was on before Dodo’s show. We used The Newlywed Game, and I loved that all these people had paid good money for a night of legitimate theatre, only to come and watch a crappy game show on TV for half an hour before the play began. It was my first experience in creating a silly, entertaining world for a bunch of people—but it never occurred to me to use this premise in anything else.

I took a makeup course in college, and years later, when my son Dan, then in Kindergarten, decided that his career choice when he grew up was to be a clown, I did his makeup. The audience loved this orange-haired kid who came out in the midst of all the would-be doctors, nurses, truck drivers and computer programmers (okay, none of them actually picked that profession) and announced in a squeaky voice that he wanted to be a clown when he grew up because “they make people laugh”.

But it was a completely different experience that made me decide to do a strip about clowns.

On a trip to Disney World several years ago, my son and I took the Backstage Tour---a tour that goes below the Magic Kingdom, behind the scenes at Epcot, etc.---which was a fun day of learning fascinating trivia and seeing how things worked. And walking through Epcot on that sunny afternoon, I thought, wouldn’t it be great if my family and I could have access to enter any of the Disney parks for free anytime we wanted? Well, for that to happen, I’d have to have something that they’d want to purchase the rights to---something that could be an attraction, or another section of a theme park. And then it hit me—clowns! No one was doing a comic strip about clowns. The decision to do a strip about clowns, then, was primarily to make our vacations cheaper!

I liked this idea for several reasons. Clowns are inherently funny and/or silly. I could presumably be forgiven the occasional less-than-funny cartoon if the people in it looked goofy. The unspoken implication that we’re all clowns stumbling through life amused me. And, of course, portraying any politicians in my cartoons as clowns seemed only natural! (At one point, I thought I should just set it in DC.)

Now, there are two primary schools of thought on clowns: the predictable clowns-are-funny-and-harmless view, and the clowns-are-menacing, frightening, evil-creatures attitude. I was not interested in a sweet, “Family Circus” type of strip, partly because I’m a lover of language and kids don’t usually get punch lines about the proper uses of nouns and verbs (although the phrase “dangling participle” might get a snicker out of them). But I couldn’t see the Bad Clown approach as having a particularly long shelf life, either; it’s a cliché. Besides, real clowns hate this idea of the scary or evil image, and I tend to agree with them. I like clowns. They amuse me. I think it’s always better to err on the side of the silly if you have to be an err-or.

So I decided to approach it as more of an adult or all-ages cartoon. I actually drew one strip which addresses the fact that, in one real-life study, all the children polled were “terrified” of clowns: a very-pregnant clown’s husband, reading this in the newspaper, simply says “uh oh”. The basic premise was that almost everyone in the strip would be a clown, and then I’d do cartoons that could just as easily feature regular people. Or talking dogs. Or hamsters, or whatever. The earlier strips may feature the occasional clown-based joke, but over the years, you’ll see that those clowns could just as easily be you, or me, or your boss or neighbor. (It may help, by the way, the next time your boss or a business associate is giving you a hard time, if you picture him or her with a big red nose and an oversized butt squeezed into polka-dot pants. If that’s how they already look, my condolences.)

Of course, the idea of a Disney World theme park doesn’t really seem all that realistic. But who knows? Maybe someone will want to build a real QlownTown someday. It’d be fun to visit. Spinning pies instead of teacups. A fun house, of course—the entrance could be a tiny clown car into which hundreds of people parade every day. Water rides, including squirting seltzer dispensers and fake flowers. Roller coasters with polka dot seats and striped wheels. Lots of bright colors and balloons. Face painting, of course. And stores everywhere, full of all sorts of useless stuff that would seem special while you were there and become clutter when you got home. (Not to be confused with the original artwork, available through this website, which will only appreciate in value as the years go by.) Clowns from the strip would roam the grounds, and little children would run in terror, while I like to think teenagers would discuss grammar with them and adults might offer to buy them a beer. (Oh! Oh! We could offer special QlownTown brews: Qlown Brown Ale! Short’n Stout! Hefesmithweissen! Red (nose) Ale!)

I could see a TV special growing out of this, although whether it would be an 8:00 PM family show or a satire, more along the lines of the Simpsons, would have to be worked out. Maybe I should rewrite Dodo, this time as a musical…

So that’s the history of QlownTown—past, present, and possible future. I like to think it’s more interesting than the common history textbook, where you only read about what’s already happened. (I know, I know—that’s why it’s called history.)

Oh—why “Qlown” with a Q? Because I could trademark it! And the more I think about it, the more I like it. What could be more “clown” than to misspell “Clown”?